Now that the wedding has been postponed, it's making me think more about my relationship with Rob. It's making me wonder if Rob and I are supposed to be together for the rest of our lives. Is the postponement supposed to be a wake up call telling me that I should get out? That there's someone better out there for me and that I'm wasting my time with Rob?

If Rob and I were meant to be together, things would be working out swimmingly, and nothing is working out. I'm still not done with my class, and the fucking mid-term hasn't showed up yet; we're in debt, and I wasn't in debt coming out to NC, I like my job, but it's only part-time, and I don't have insurance.

It's not been a week since we've returned to Elizabeth City after Christmas, and I want to go back to WI! Granted I was homesick when I first got down here, and then going back home for Christmas and leaving again, it brought back the homesickness.

So I don't know if the feelings I'm having about Rob are due to being homesick, or if there's something deeper there, and that I should think about moving on.

I keep on wishing the answer would fall into my lap, but it doesn't seem to happen.

What is a girl like me supposed to do?
I love Rob, but I sometimes wonder if there is something that I'm needing, and I'm missing it because of being with Rob.

It's the most wonderful time of the year when it comes to the NFL...It's playoff time! And I'm not able to watch the wild-card games this weekend due to the fact Rob and I are moving, and the fucking satellite company cut off our dish before we told them to. I'm a little upset, but I will be more pissed next weekend if I don't get the games since that's when the Packers play, and if I don't get to watch the game, watch out, you will see one pissed off chick.

It's bad enough I only got to a watch a handful of Packer games this season because of living in fucking Redskin territory, which I hope the Seahawks kick their ass, and now if I have to miss the playoff games, I won't be able to take it.

Of course I'll be pissed if the Pack don't make to the Super Bowl, but at the same time, I wouldn't be too surprised because of the stupid games that they've lost. Ok granted, they only lost 3 games, but when 2 of those come to the motha-fuckin Bears, that's rediculous especially since the first lost came because they just let Da Bears come back in the game when they could have had a 21 point lead going to half but fucked up, so they only led by 14, but they just fucked up in the second half. Then the second loss to Da Bears, was just pathetic because they weren't in the game before hand, and Favre at the end is making fucking excuses about how cold it was out, when he's played in colder weather before. Then we have the loss to the Cowboys...I'm happy that they only loss by 10 considering the game was at Dallas, and the Pack just suck when they play at Dallas, and they usually get their asses handed to them. Now it's a what if deal... If Brett didn't get injured, could they have won the game?

So the Pack could still get their revenge if they make to the NFC championship. They will definitely get their revenge next year when Dallas comes to Green Bay during the regular season next year, and I pray to God that's in the winter. and it's really cold, and snowing. That would really give Dallas a wake up call.

I hate to say this, but if Green Bay doesn't make to the Super Bowl, I'd rather have the Cowboys in it and that they win it, if they're going against the Pats, if it's the Colts, then I'm definitely cheering on the Colts.

I'm one of these people who is a die-hard NFL person. What I mean that I mean I'm a National Football League Fan otherwise known now as the NFC. I'm anti-AFL, AFC fan. There are only 3 teams in the AFC that I will cheer for because they were orginally NFL teams before the merger, those teams are Indianapolis, Pittsburgh and Cleveland. If one of those 3 are in the Super Bowl vs an NFC team, then it's a toss up on who I'm cheering for depending who's playing. If it is the Cowboys vs. the Pats, I'm cheering for the Boys because of New England in the AFC.

I'm hoping the Pack goes to the Super Bowl, but if not, it won't be that shocking. Especially nobody in Packerland thought they would be this good this season, and to tell you the truth, they aren't that great.

But it is the playoffs, and anything can happen. I really want to watch the games. Hopefully by next weekend we'll have cable so that I'm a happy girl.

I'm not a happy girl if I can't watch my sports!

Yes, you read that right there is no wedding....at least no wedding June 20, 2008. Rob and I have too much to work out and get situated before we can think about getting married. We have some credit card debt, we are also in the process of moving to another house because our current landlord isn't renewing our lease when it's up, plus we haven't gone through the marriage retreat we're supposed to go through because of how money is.

We are going to work hard on it, and more than likely get it done before June, but then that means putting the pedal to the medal to getting everything else done for the wedding, and I would be going insane, and more than likely it wouldn't be done by the wedding. So as of right now it's a guessing game on when we are going to get married.

I'm thinking about trying to find a place to live for awhile, and not live with Rob, especially now since the wedding is post-poned, and who knows when it will happen.

I'm a little sad that there is no wedding in June, but at the same time, I'm happy because when we do get married, we'll be stronger and more stable.

If we did get married in June with all this still on us, we'd be in tough shape fights would get worse than what they are now.

Everything will work out in the end...don't worry.

I'm back in boringville USA! It was so nice going back home for Christmas. Being with family and friends. Now I'm back here, and I'm kinda happy being back....the weather is warmer than it is back home, and it's nice to see people that you know and talking to them, but that's about it.

According to my parents there is no wedding in June. And as of right now there is no wedding in June. There is no way I can get married, when nobody (Rob, my parents, his parents, and myself) is getting along with each other. I'm not sure if I want to get married anymore either. Hell I'm not even sure anymore if Rob is the one for me.

Ever since my parents came here, it's been nothing but HELL! I've been miserable, and I'm feel like I'm stuck in the middle, and I have to choose between Rob and my parents. It's pretty much called, no matter what I do, I'm fucked over. I marry Rob, my parents are pissed off at me. I don't marry Rob, Rob's miserable, and my parents get their fucking way.

I have no idea what to do.

Right now all I want to do is just go somewhere, anywhere. I want the fuck away from Rob and Elizabeth City, and far, far away from Wisconsin and my family.

I want to go somewhere where I can just be by myself so I can figure things out without being disturbed, and with nobody knowing where I am. But that ain't going to happen, because I have no fucking money to get the fuck out and go somewhere to figure things out.

I haven't done my Spanish in a while, but how can I even study with all this shit is going on.

I wish I was somebody else, and everything was going great.

I just need out.

The sooner the better. Because I'm ready to go to the extremes to get the fuck out.

Yes I know it's been quite a while since I've posted an entry. A lot has happen since my last entry. Such as graduating, getting a car, moving to Elizabeth City, having a part time job, getting a puppy, finishing up school by taking an "online" class....

I was doing good on my Spanish assignments. I was about half-way through with all of them when I was finally getting them returned saying that i had to do them all over because they were not complete enough. Now I'm having the hardest time getting motivated to get them done.

I have made a deadline on when they should be done, but I don't really have a plan on how to get them done. My goal is to get 3 done a week. Rob also unplugged the cable so I would be able to concentrate more on the assignments than watching tv. But the said part is is that I still can't motivated.

I don't know what my problem is...

I hope I can get one done tonight before I go to bed...then it will give me a boost to get them done

Yes, let's all shed a tear... Today is my last day working at the Computer Lab of my college career. It's a bittersweet feeling. I really enjoyed working here, and I don't want to leave it. But eveything changes, and nothing stays the same for long, so it's all part of growing up and getting a move on in my life.

Tomorrow is my last day in the office as well. But Rob comes tomorrow as well WOOHOO!!!

He was a poo-head to me today. He said he was in Indiana, but he meant Indiana, PA, that goof! I wanted to smack him. But that is Rob for ya. Pulling stuff like that.

I still have a 6-page paper to finish. I got one page done, 5 to go. Don't worry, it will get done this afternoon, evening, and night. I've been taking breaks here and there, so that I don't go insane.

Thursday is packing day, and leaving Oshkosh. WAAA... I mean WOOOHOOO!!!

Friday is getting my parents' house ready for the party Saturday.

So yeah. Rob comes tomorrow!!! I can't wait!!!

Too bad Rob won't be getting any though, since I got something today.

I decided to look at old postings Rob made to his LJ, and see what he all wrote about with our roller coaster relationship we've had.

I look back on it, and it's pretty much hilarious. At the time(s) that it/they were written, it wasn't funny, but now looking back, I can't help but laugh because of where we are now.

It sucked that we had a topsy-turvey relationship in the past, but looking back, I think it actually helped us because now when real serious problems arise, we'll be able to handle them.

We were also dealing with personal stuff in our own lives at the time that we had a difficult time helping each other. I think we were trying too hard in the beginning to make it work, and that's why it didn't work.

Now, it all comes natural for the both of us. We aren't working hard to make it work because it's working out by itself.

I cannot see myself with somebody else. Rob has made me a very different person. He's made me the person that I've always wanted to be. I don't fell self-conscious about myself when I'm around him. I don't feel like I need to do or say anything in particular to make him love me. I'm just myself around him, and I love it.

I know now as well that we can handle anything that comes in our way. Granted, there will be times when the road gets really rough, and there will be screaming, yelling, and possibly some crying, but I know that when the sun sets, and the dust settles, we'll be able to get through it, and everything will be back to where it was.

Like the Garth Brooks says: Sometimes we fight just so that we can make up.

I know we have a long road ahead together, but I'm up for the challenge, and I know we'll be able to handle any situation that comes our way.

11 more days until graduation, 4 more days until Rob hits the road to come up here!!!

I think y'all would agree that that sounds like me doesn't it?

19 more days before Graduation!!! Busy as hell though, which is the sucky part, but oh well, that happens

That goes to my fiance Rob. I love him dearly, but he's a party pooper. So Rob and I have a NASCAR pool for the season, and not even half-way through the season, he decides to forfeit. The reason is is because I'm kicking his butt. Of course if he was kicking my ass he would still want it to go on. Even if he was kicking my ass I wouldn't stop doing the pool, nor would I think that it's taking the fun out of watching the races. But with his forfeit I automatically win the bet, and I have no idea where to go to eat since he already has to take me out anyways for saying that Dad would beat me in the NCAA tourney, which didn't happen.

That's the difference between him and me. I'm the BIG sports nut, and he's not. He does keep on saying that it's a waste that a BIG sports fan like me is marrying somebody who isn't. He would rather go on the computer and work on models than watch a sports event on TV. Me on the other hand, if it's a good game I'm watching it.

Which brings me to the point that thank goodness he got DirectTV, and he's letting me get Sunday NFL ticket. Which for me is a blessing because I'm moving to North Carolina (which is Pantherville, make me gag please!) which means I won't get any Packer game unless it's on National TV (which in my case if I didn't get DirectTV would be only 2 times this coming season!) I know the Packers are going to suck this season, and I'll probably be switching back and forth between the race and the game, but the fact of the matter is, I need my Packers. I'm used to getting all the games back in WI, that I still need a little part of Wisconsin with me. That will never change. I'm a cheesehead! Always have and always will be no matter what!

But I love him so much that I can't see myself without him.

You can't underestimate me when it comes to sports.

Yes I win again. I beat my dad in the NCAA Tourney for the 4th year in a row! The really cool part is that I get 2 dinners out of it. Dad gets to bring me to Red Lobster, because that where I picked to go, but Rob also gets to take me out because he was on Dad's side, and we made a bet of double or nothing. If I win Rob and Dad have to take me out on 2 separate dates, and if Dad won I would have to take Dad an Rob out on two separates dates. Lucky for me, I won, and I don't have to pay.

I'm also beating Rob in our NASCAR pool also, so it's nice being the one that's kicking ass!

As I said before Dad's taking me to Red Lobster. Rob's taking me to Texas Roadhouse. It's so nice beating my dad and Rob because they tend to underestimate the power of me. There is a reason why sportschick is in my name, and I think it's funny how they think that they're going to beat me, when I'm pretty good at predicting these things. Granted I only won by a point, but still that means that I do know my shit, and if I screw up during the tourney, I know how to make up points later on.

So next year I'll be trying to make it 5 years in a row. It'll be tough, but I think I can do it.

1 month & 10 days until graduation day!!!

1 Year, 2 Months, and 18 days until I'm Mrs. Rob O'Neill